Listen. I hear you. You’re a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100 lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and my family. I even picked 2 DIFFERENT careers that have me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child or a father laughing with his kids? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug?
Imagine you are gone. POOF! No longer here. A car crash, home invasion gone wrong, whatever… In the flash of a second, There are no more photo ops. No physical evidence of your life, your love, your EXISTENCE. You haven’t had professional pictures done since your wedding… always waiting for this elusive moment where you would be thin enough to have such a permanent record of yourself. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that you ever looked the way you actually look.
So here is the harsh truth. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn’t wait until you “get thin” enough to capture it. Life is happening… it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it.
Shocker: No one is looking at how fat you look.
Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you’ve been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like… and that if this magical day does come when you’re acceptably thin you’ll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5-10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, spouses, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the US they love?
Your children want pictures with their mom and dad.
Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.
You wife wants pictures of the two of you together.
Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing person they raised (OK, and more pictures of the grand-kids while you’re at it).
And if you’re thinking that high school friends on Facebook will say to themselves (“wow they gained weight”) then… news flash you DID. You gained weight. Accept this reality… YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel…)
So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? OK… but you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.